My Issues With the Dating Show Naked Attraction
Why does this show make me, a self-proclaimed exhibitionist, so uncomfortable?
I heard about Naked Attraction (available on MAX) from a few people on the internet and thought it was an interesting concept. A person comes on a dating show to choose from six potential dates based on their… oh wait… (checks notes)... NAKED physical appearance. Like, “Hi, this is the first time meeting me, and you’re commenting on my pubic hair upkeep. Cool, cool.” As the six whittle down, the picker person sees more of the contestants’ bodies, starting from the bottom, up to their shoulders, and finally, their glorious faces. When there are just two nudies left, the chooser has to strip down as well before selecting who they will go on an incredibly artificial date with. (Every “winning” couple goes to the same bar.)
I enjoy being naked and am very comfortable with my body. Sure, there are some things that aren’t my favorite, but I’ve embraced them: my c-section scar, my nose, and my boobs. (The last of which are surprisingly perky for breastfeeding three kids, but I’d prefer a little more squish.) So one would think that this show would be normal for me, right?
WRONG. This show gives me minor anxiety. In fact, I can only watch one episode at a time, and at this point, I’ve only seen three episodes, each featuring two matches per episode. Bingeing this U.K.-based show is a no for me. Let’s discuss.
I prefer seeing the ladies
Let’s just get this one out there. Maybe it’s because I’m bi/pan, but the men’s accouterments make me want to cover my eyes. Sure, even heterosexual women admit that women’s bodies are just more appealing, but why do I involuntarily shield my eyes, make random sing-song responses to the zooming in, and clench my teeth when the host (who I have a crush on) and chooser discuss penis lengths?
My husband, who is definitely not an exhibitionist, thinks my reactions are hilarious.
When women are featured, I notice my blood pressure returns to normal.
Why? I don’t have any penis trauma. I like them. They feel good. But am I feeling sorry for weak male egos? I shouldn’t. No one forced these men onto the show. If they don’t mind, why should I? (Let me emphasize that there are “real” bodies presented, but then again, define that term. Aside from a few gym rats, I haven’t seen many chiseled, incredibly toned types.)
Anyway, I just don’t know why. Feel free to hypothesize in the comments.
The losers’ confessional quips
We don’t get to hear anything from the contestants unless they make it further in the selection process and asked to name what they like least and most about their bodies. Each eliminated contestant describes their experience in an edited blurb. (“It was fun.” How? You did nothing except stand there until you didn’t get chosen to continue.) Sometimes they talk about body confidence and how glad they were to participate.
Okay… ??? I just feel like there are easier ways to do this instead of reality TV.
I think I dislike this farewell segment because the unchosen were (quickly) let go based on attributes that are more fixed and static. (A woman’s toes. Seriously.) There are more dynamic components at play when we peel back layers to reveal one’s likes, creative pursuits, quirks, mannerisms, and stories.
If you’re all about a one-night stand, then appearing on this show seems like a lot of work when there are bars and dating apps.
Which leads me to…
I don’t get the purpose of the show
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I think it’s offering indirect lessons on dating and relationships.
Based on face value, the show is revealing our standards of attraction as a society. Funny enough, no matter the gender or sexual orientation of the chooser, they preferred attractive, fit bodies. I thought it was precious when these men and women talked about appreciating curvier figures or having little issue with smaller penis sizes, but choosers still eliminated those contestants.
There are educational components and outside (physical) vs. inside (personality) attraction matters quietly highlighted in the series.
Throughout the show, Anna Richardson, the sassy host, offers us scientific facts and statistics that correspond to the chooser’s preferences and what they are noticing about the contestants’ bodies. It’s cute, I guess. Again, I’ve only watched three episodes, but there hasn’t been anything mind-blowing in the sex ed department for me. Even so, thanks for your service, Anna.
I think the most intriguing part of the show is after the selection process. The clothed couple goes on a bar date to giggle and flirt. (Remember, the selected did not choose the selector, so for some dates, you notice a little forced charm for the cameras.) After this meet-up, we get a sit-down update with the couple about a month later. Sometimes it’s another giggle mess where the couple looks at each other and uses the words “maybe” and “I think” over and over. BUT then, one contestant was a no-show to the update recording (eeks), and there was an awkward “You’re really nice, but I’m dating someone else” moment at the end of another episode.
Is there a hope that choosing based on our carnal, nude preferences will lead to a better match? All depends on what you’re looking for, but I wasn’t feeling the compatibility. There were even unfortunate moments when the chooser regretted eliminating someone having only seen their lower half and not their face. I feel the show is trying to school us in a lesson of “Sexual Attraction is Nice, But If You Want More…”
After elimination, contestants magically spin back into clothes before riding off into the sunset of regret and/or FOMO. Guess what… you can still pick out who has a decent body when they are clothed. Insane but true. (I, for one, would prefer to know about their style; I find it extremely telling and a huge time saver.) I just don’t understand the benefit of choosing someone in the nude, ignoring other important factors, unless you’re only down to fuck or hope to get the icing before knowing what kind of cake you’ll be eating.
Sorry… or you’re welcome.
The above factors reveal it’s yet another reality cringe-fest, packaged in a new way to make us watch people do outlandish stuff we would never do. Throw in the possibility of love, and we’re hooked. I don’t watch a lot of reality TV, so I’m occasionally curious every three to five years to find out if a show is worth the label of “guilty pleasure.”
I don’t know if I’ll watch another episode. As a comedy for my husband based on my reactions, it brings out an interactive spin that cements the fact that I am the gift that keeps giving. When it comes to devoting time to a screen, I want to be surprised as I explore cracks in the human experience that reveal deeper forces of intrigue at work.
It would’ve been nice to have walked away feeling empowered by body positivity, but other shallow factors stole the limelight.
Back to Antiques Roadshow.
What say you? Have you watched a reality show that offered more substance? Do you have a guilty pleasure show (or book series, app, etc.) that helps you escape in superficial, mind-numbing fun? Leave a comment without judgment.
Sounds like the most superficial dating show ever to land on TV. I guess another TV taboo has been broken.