As I mentioned in my last Fracture monthly wrap-up, I need to concoct a stage name.
When I was scrolling through Eventbrite looking for tickets to my local short film festival two years ago, I quivered a bit when I saw another event, a burlesque class… in my small wine town.
I was pretty broke at the time, so I had to choose one. My humid armpits and rapid breathing signaled the obvious:
Desiree, we’re going to burlesque class.
Long story short…
I relaxed my stiffened frame, captured the woman in the mirror, and let my desire to hook readers in brief prose to unleash herself doing the same via provocative dance.
Currently, I’m practicing a group piece with a boa to David Rose’s “Banned in Boston,” but I was previously working on a self-choreographed routine to Miike Snow’s “My Trigger.” I shelved that because I got a case of the “why evens,” but I plan on reviving it.
I met my favoritest friend at burlesque on Thursday, September 5, 2024. I know, crazy, to know the date. (I had to scroll all the way up to our “Nice to meet you” text origin.) Hearing her passion to embrace body autonomy and undo religious purity culture was like flowing water when I was feeling logjammed in life. Her love and participation in theater allowed me to unleash my “Want to hear something crazy?” ideas as she shared her own. She’s a wonderful person to stretch the limits with and toy with symbolism in new ways.
So she has a stage name, and now I need a stage name.
As I mentioned, I knew I wanted to start with Desi Arnaz, the Cuban performer who played Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy. It reflects my culture, the theatrics and love for music, and Desi is gender-neutral. Easy.
But the last name.
I wanted some rhyming wordplay with “Arnaz,” but I could only think of “MorPez” which means having Pez dispensers as my gimmick.
Yuck.
I scanned rhyming lists on websites and got similar sounding surnames like:
La Benz, Finesse, Luminesce.
My husband likes “Desi Hornez,” but I’m not sure it reflects my femme fatale vibe. (Does it?) Burlesque has been known for its use of comedy, but I wanted something dangerous.
Something that reflects: I will devour you and you will enjoy it.
Heartwarming, yes?
Feminine endings like -ette yielded results such as:
Amourette, Rosette, Vignette (flash writing!).
Those sounded too sweet.
And then I used Gemini, Google’s AI machine.
I started with this request:
Give me some burlesque names with this criteria:
I want to use the first name “Desi.”
I’m inspired by Desi Arnaz. What last name would sound similar to “Arnaz”?
I’m more of a femme fatale goddess rather than the innocent type.
The idiot machine spit out:
Desi… Noir, Vixen, Divine, Sinner, Harlowe, Scarlett, Siren, Jezebel.
For “Arnaz” sounding names:
Arnez (really?), Amore, Nars, Charm, Carnal.
I felt like Gemini didn’t understand the assignment.
It asked if I wanted more. Definitely.
I suppose in an effort to defend its previous choices, it spit out Noir and Nars again but with their meanings. Also included were: Vane, Verona, and Amour.
“Do any of these spark your imagination, or should we keep digging?”
Me: “Let’s keep Desi but add a last name that evokes or is reminiscent of southern European/Mediterranean mystique.”
I got:
Belladonna, Verona (again), Solara, Vespera, Caprice, Messina,Ravenna,Valentina (all with reasoning).
I asked it to dig into the dark, dangerous femme fatale component and received:
Desi Vengeance
Desi Cobra
Desi Serpentina
Desi Obsidian
Desi Mirage
Desi Shadow
Desi Onyx
Desi Raven
Which all felt like characters in a young adult fantasy novel.
It then offered “Mythological/Historical Femme Fatale Echoes” like:
Desi… Circe, Delilah (obvious), Lorelei, Lamia, and Jezebel (obviously obvious).
I asked, “Can you give me more last names symbolizing the provocative, erotic, and femme fatale. I also like hidden meanings.”
Gemini started off positive. “You’re going for something truly captivating and deep! I love the idea of hidden meanings.”
“Does it hint at a story? That’s often the best kind of hidden meaning for a burlesque persona.”
Aaaaaaaaahhhhh.
I fell for the bait.
“I have a background in ministry that I left and am a writer. Can we incorporate that?”
It brought up some previous options again but included: Rune, Creed, Lore, and Saint. With more prompting, it delivered: Ritual, Vow, Canon, Relic, Oracle.
Just lazy.
BUT… one option stood out:
Could people pronounce it though? Also, it seemed to have less religious context when I actually researched it.
I got more lists, but they leaned on a magical vibe except for Desi Adore which stood out.
Not satisfied though.
A few days later, I found myself thinking about “Belladonna.” I liked it but didn’t. I was drawn to the poisonous plant aspect.
So I went to regular good ol’ Google and asked for more poisonous plants.
Desi Oleander.
Desi Foxglove.
So yeah. Overthinking as usual, especially over a name.
But we know this.
At work, when I’m leading orientation, I say, “Names are foundational ownership.”
Yes, names are kind of a big deal… until I get frustrated. Like when I put sale items in my online cart, but then I find out I’m $3.00 away from free shipping, so I say, “Forget it.”
I’m fun like that.
So tell me what options you liked or feel free to recommend other creative directions.
In the meantime, enjoy a mini impromptu tour of The Foxhole with a flirty ending.
You're welcome.
Dezi Mantiz