The Fracture: August 2024

The "orgasm gap," Brittany Murphy, and a visual recap from my quick getaway

Damn, it feels good to be back BACK.

As usual, The Fracture is a rundown of what broke me this past month and gave me insight that inspired my discovery and writing. Oh, I also took sexy pictures, and those are at the end. (This is your content warning.)

The articles

So a lot of moms daydream about… being hospitalized. I wonder why—just kidding, makes total sense. I deliriously laughed at how much I could relate. (A vacation can mean so many things to so many people.)

Three from The New York Times:

The ‘Orgasm Gap’ Isn’t Going Away for Straight Women. (So happy I’m not one.)

Daisy Alioto and her “small media empire.” I love ambition, especially in the writing space. This makes me want to do more and go further. So many ideas!

They’re Putting Some Fun in Funerals. I will have a fun funeral, a beseeching gift to live a life of little regret for my attendees… with an awesome playlist.

What’s the opposite of deja vu? Of course, jamais vu. (You were going to say that, right?) And we’ve all experienced it. (Me and the word “very.”)

The music

Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars - “Die With a Smile”

How could I not love this? (Except for the smoking.)

Wherever you go, that's where I'll follow
Nobody's promised tomorrow
So I'ma love you every night like it's the last night
Like it's the last night

Loving - “Nihilist Kite Flyer”

I love their “Only She Knows,” and this song adds to their sleepy, 1970s singer-songwriter vibe. I’m pretty sure I’ve dozed off on my commute home with one of their jams. That’s a good thing, I guess.

Am I living my life

As if I'm flying a kite

Without a string

Without any meaning?

Paul Oakenfold w/ Brittany Murphy - “Faster Kill Pussycat”

Gosh, she was awesome. Just a great song to fuck to, jog to, or play at a PTA meeting.

Faster kill faster still pussycat
Those high heels are not your friends
Honey, you know where the world is at
Come home with me when the party ends

The art

Hey, it’s Peach Fuzz, Austin's Only Sex-Positive Nudie Mag. Seriously, what am I doing with my life? Putting together something like this would be my dream.

The books

Finally got around to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Books like this are not necessarily life-changing, but I need them as reinforcement to be unapologetically me. The polite version of this is another one of my highly recommended books, The Courage to be Disliked. I told a friend recently: “Embarrassment is a transfer of power.” When we goof up, simply apologize, learn, and move on. We put too much emphasis on what others think, and that’s a prison I’m not signing up for again.

Officially finished Polysecure but gave up finishing the workbook. Very helpful in reminding me to be clear with my expectations. I see myself referencing the charts and lists again as litmus tests before I get carried away or the need to self-sabotage.

The random

I threw out my goal tracker. This is huge. I’ve been tracking goals for posture exercises, fitness, jogs, water intake, writing, journaling, kegels, gua sha, and “me time” for years. This month I decided it was more of a hindrance than a help to me. I’m still active in personal development (kicking major ass with my jogs as I incorporate sprints), but I don’t entangle and beat myself up over tracking. This was a big surrender in control.

I figured out that my memoir will be comprised of vignettes. I have a lot of motivation and have been bringing my laptop to work, so I can hammer out passages during breaks.

I haven’t taken sexy selfies since I visited Portland for a conference in February. If you know me, this activity is like a drug. My coworkers could tell I was giddy and loopy in anticipation which they didn’t understand for what I told them was a writer’s trip. (I did a little of that.) I take great care in finding settings for the perfect aesthetic. My wardrobe is meticulously planned out. I get dolled up. I feel empowered as I continue to fall for myself. Staying at a hipster bohemian, vintage-fairy tale basement in La Grande, Oregon last night, I took well over 300 pictures. My husband always gets first dibs, and special friends get them next. (Connections on Feeld are going good-ish. Weird.) I posted a few pics on Instagram for the nosy folk, but here’s a bit more for my friends who subscribe.

This makes me, a shy girl who hid so much of herself out of shame, so vividly and definitively happy.

Yes, there's a toilet back there. I had a few great butt shots, but I figured these would suffice. Boo.

Coffee, writing, time to go.

So many good pics… I really want to make a coffee table book of the past three years. (Where do I go for that? One that will allow nudity and scantily clad pics?) I took some fun, goofy video, but again, that’s for special friends. But here’s a video of me eating a lox bagel in a swing.

Here’s to the things that make us feel uninhibited.