The Fracture: October 2023, Part 1

Job hunting, house hunting, advice columns, and being "moody"

Life is…

Am I frustrated or in need to poop? I’ve been without my pricey probiotic, so probably both. | Source: GIPHY - Angry Better Call Saul GIF

So I’m back on the job hunt.

I left a job my friends wondered why I even applied to in the first place. I was stressed, not sleeping, and jumped a traffic circle on the way to work because of the stress and lack of sleep that was this job’s fault. (Extra bonus: I found out I was the fourth person in the position THIS year.)

But I’ve been writing a lot… and cleaning, folding clothes, de-cluttering, meal planning, etc. because I need to feel useful. The busier I am, the less I feel like a loser.

Notice that vacant stare. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to see here. She’s on a journey inside her mind.

When feeling hopeless, inspiration is quite the blessing! Here’s what got my creative juices going and made me ponder a little more about home, loss, relationships, and belonging:

The links

I am a New York Times subscriber. Feel free to clap. I love it! When I’m finally a profitable person, I plan on subscribing to more pubs because paywalls suck and newspapers are barely surviving. (You’re probably asking me about subscribing to my local paper. I have in the past. I have reasons I don’t now. We’ll see when I have money again. Don’t start.)

I enjoy the full access to stories showcasing current events, social commentary, and consumer guides. One of my favorites is “The Hunt.” Basically, it’s a sped up version of HGTV’s House Hunters. You start with the buyer and their desires in a new home, check out three options, guess what they picked, and find out if you’re right. The column features a few house hunts outside of New York City, but in a return to my birthplace, I prefer checking out digs based in the Big Apple. Guess what this Oscar winner chose on her studio hunt with a budget of 500K.

I’m a closet fan of advice columns. I don’t want to admit it, but that’s the first step, right? Sometimes I wonder if the people writing in are real. Sure, everything’s anonymous, but at some point in composing your inquiry for insight, how do you not go “Yeah, this sounds like a dumb idea”? Two great examples: here and here.

The music

Relationships are fun… 20% of the time. As a saboteur-in-recovery, I’m digging maye’s “Moody” as a precious, flirty, we’ve-been-together-this-long-why-stop-now autumn earworm. (Her single “Yours” is for when you and partner actually like each other.)

maye - “Moody”

You do me, when I'm feeling moody

We don't say excuse me

When we fight

You seduce me, when I'm feeling moody

You know how to do it, just right

I was introduced to Elise Trouw (not in real life… I’m not that cool) with her rendition of “Lean On” for Scary Pockets. Well, the woman can break hearts on her own. While ending one connection and pouring more substantially into another this week, I let myself drown in “Catch My Breath.” It always guts me.

Elise Trouw - “Catch My Breath”

We falter and stumble until

We break into a run

That leads us in circles, until

There's only one

Trying to catch my breath.

The random (but important)

The violence in the Middle East is at the top of our newsfeeds. It’s an area with a complicated history that brings up deep feelings of identity and ancestral belonging that many of us cannot relate to, but terrorism and bloodshed are always wrong. For me, this is a time to read, learn, and hope/pray/reflect on peace.

(Insert subtle transition here.)

I don’t watch a lot of TV aside from Jeopardy, Antiques Roadshow, Shark Tank, some football, and cryptozoological-themed shows only because I want to sit next to my husband and show him how much I love him. (Will I make fun of these shows and talk over the “experts"? Always.) Because I need to write and clean and prove I’m not lazy on Job Hunt 2.0, I never put the TV on during the day. There isn’t really anything I want to watch anyway… but then I remembered Unsolved Mysteries on PlutoTV. So I got sucked in, and my goodness, our world is so shitty sometimes (again, the bloodshed). After watching certain segments, I immediately grabbed my phone to get updated updates, and with severely unsolved cases, I got slightly emotional with tear-filled eyes, especially if they dealt with children or were based in the PNW or in areas we previously lived in the Southeast.

Then, of course, there were the police composite sketches which always freak me out.

(Insert another subtle transition here.)

The Krispy Kreme premium doughnuts, such as the Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Swirl Doughnut, should not be $2.30/each. In this crappy world (again, the bloodshed), give us a break.

Finally, I just couldn’t stop. I submitted to the NYT’s “Modern Love” column AGAIN. First time was in May. No response even though I poured my soul out. Then over a week ago, I submitted a Tiny Love Story. In ninety-four words, I delivered a catchy first line, humor, cultural recognition, conflict, and a cliffhanger. No answer, so guessing that’s a no. And today, I submitted another gut-wrencher for the column. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I feel so scattered and lost and disconnected.

But writing makes it a little better.

(In all honesty, Coldplay’s “Fix You” is playing as I type this. Why?!)

---

I would be overjoyed with an abundant amount of comments. What house would you choose? Does “Moody” make you think about someone? Maybe yourself? How are you affected by the Israel-Gaza conflict? Do you even like doughnuts? How much do you cry when you hear “Fix You”?