Villainizing Sensuality Just Makes Me Want to Embrace the "Monster"
How folklore art and basically nude wedding dresses have inspired me recently
Many of us grew up with cautionary tales that were used to keep us close to home, not talk to strangers, and stay on the so-called “straight and narrow.” I was reminded of this when I bought hilarious prints for our living room makeover from an Etsy shop with a very matter-of-fact name, The Weird Old Print Shop.
In addition to sprucing up the oddity factor in the living room, I got a print specifically for The Foxhole:
This print reproduction, originally created by R. M. Eichler, depicts a nixie, also known as a water spirit (or sprite), frightening an old woman. In its monotone shades, this image revealed much.
Her eyes! Eyes are big for me. I have large, mesmerizing ones, as I’ve been told. The nixie’s may look blank or soul-less to someone who doesn’t go out much and watches televangelists regularly, but I instantly thought transparency. Who knows? Maybe we shouldn’t be trusting the old woman. In still lifes and without context, villains, victims, and heroes must be well defined. We do this in daily life with first impressions, don’t we?
Nixies, known by numerous names and with various forms throughout Europe, are often depicted as evil, luring men and drowning children, but this is not true in all cases. Some sang songs, taught music, warned fishermen of dangerous conditions, and fell in love with humans while longing for a nearby water source for their survival. Sure, creating a scary tale about a Nixie may be a fun way to warn children about water safety and keep seafaring husbands from cheating on their wives, but it feeds into the “alluring temptress” theme, a trope that we easily see as: sensual = trouble.
Earlier this week, I posted my Eichler print on IG with this caption:
What if society's created monsters, used to prevent us from venturing off and delving deeper, are the true guides of discovery and courage?
M. Night Shyamalan's The Village
Disney's Monsters Inc.
Neil Gaiman's (are we cancelling him?) The Graveyard Book
What if everything we were told to fear was just a way to keep us in line and not question? Because I’m a sensual being, should I be avoided? What kind of trouble am I? Is this trouble for me… or trouble for you? Once you get brave on this path with me, will you blame me when one small thing goes awry and call me a slut?
One thing I do know for sure on my journey, which is far from done, is that my sensuality has given me clarity. Dare I say… transparency.
Moral of the story: Know who is creating the tales and defining the symbols. The “monsters” may, in fact, lead you to freedom.
I don’t watch “women” shows. (Was that bad to say? Don’t care.) I don’t watch much TV in general. My attention span is shot, and I’m 41 years old, so nothing really engages or surprises me much. Nothing is new.
I stumbled across the end of a Pimple Popper Doctor episode as she was removing cysts that made me cringe and squirm on my couch. Show was over, and that Say Yes to the Dress show came on. I groaned and was about to change it, but the preview showcased a woman named Alexis who said she was looking to be “naked for my wedding,” like a dress that revealed a lot. She didn’t care what others thought because this was her authentic self after having body issues. I instantly fell in love with her and anticipated her decision.
First, she came into the bridal shop in this skin-tone sparkle body suit. (Go, Alexis!) Then she tried on dresses, and the looks on the other mothers, daughters, bridesmaids, etc. were of shock and laughter. She was even questioned by the boutique lady. But Alexis didn’t care, and that was heartwarming. She looked beautiful.
I can’t speak for the bride, but when you come out of a culture that sees sensuality and the female body as a danger or inappropriate, breaking free out of inhibitions and finally celebrating your body is powerful… and rare for most women because of self-doubt and the importance put on outside perception. No thank you. Been there, done that.
I’m motivated by the boldness of other women, especially when it comes to their bodies and sexuality. I would have walked over and complimented Alexis on her look.
Anyway, I got bored when they featured another woman who already bought a dress that her mother didn’t like, so I never watched through to see what dress Alexis ultimately chose.
I Googled and she picked this one, the one I didn’t want. BUT apparently, she changed her mind and chose this one which I very much like.
Moral of the story: The outer limits are visited often by dreamers, but seek fellow travelers who actually get their passports stamped. Clothing optional.
I have to admit that I let that “You’re such a pervert-weirdo-attention whore” voice get the best of me this week. (She’s adorable.) I was able to stifle her but mainly with distractions. I have some bold missions coming up that will help fuel my fire. Like a big one off My Solo Sensuality Checklist.
Moral of the story: Blessed be distractions… Check out my new hair cut!
Truly lovely writing. And wow- the authenticity shines through. Wish the value of breathtaking honesty in relationships was understood by me at an earlier age. Wish my lack of that understanding could be revisited for a redo. There are few things more appealing than honesty, as Billy Joel once told us.
Desiree, what a beautiful piece, & the pictures with the new hair are WOW! Keep it up