The Fracture: February 2025
You're actually quite likable, Body Work, and a gifted artist who paints boobs for a living
Let’s just jump in.
The articles
“Will dating ever be economically fair?” Myisha Battle asks in her opinion piece for Time. (Would anyone be interested in a piece about my marriage’s financial breakdown? Probably a bad idea.)
Interoception is the ability to be in tune with your internal physical and emotional state, sometimes referred to as the eighth sense. So I guess it makes sense that women who have high interoceptive awareness have more frequent and satisfying orgasms. But how do we really measure interoception?1 Will there be kits available at Dollar Tree or Amazon?
Why do we avoid interacting with others if we’re so starved and lonely? One reason: we underestimate how likable we are.
Is there too much hype for Demi Moore winning an Oscar for her role in The Substance? Will a win be more of an homage to her career narrative? Good questions and comparisons to Kidman's role in Babygirl as Rebecca Onion looks at success for older female actors. (I saw both films. I don’t have to see them again. I’m also not a movie person, but I’m very interested in how women are perceived as we age in light of beauty and what’s deemed as achievements for us.)
In addition to nights at the museum, earlybird clubs would definitely be my jam.
This bride invited guests to upstage her at the wedding with their creative style. I’m all for this level of internal security, self-confidence, and celebration of others.
As usual, my three gifted NYT articles:
“Digital Drugs Have Us Hooked. Dr. Anna Lembke Sees a Way Out.”
I’m very intrigued by looking at how we gulp down technological progress as it corrodes our ability to engage and nurture interpersonal, REAL LIFE relationships. I’m hoping the younger generations, Alpha and Beta, bring us back. I’m desperate for it.
Two notable quotes that hit me:
“But instead what we’re doing is spending a whole lot of time masturbating, shopping and watching other people do things online. And essentially what’s happened is we’re spending more and more of our energy and creativity investing in this online world, which means that we are actually leaching our real-life existence of our energy and creativity. So when we try to re-enter the real world, it actually is more boring, because there’s less going on, because there’s nobody there.”
“And I do think given this world of abundance, that we have to now intentionally seek out things that are hard. Because our lives have become so easy, so convenient, so sedentary, the default is a state of consumption that’s ultimately not good for our bodies or our minds.”
“The ‘Manosphere’? It’s Planet Earth: A ‘boys will be-boys’ sensibility has jumped off the internet and into the halls of power. Are you surprised?”
Joseph Bernstein gives an interesting look at a recent history of the “manosphere” and what it looks like today. (I wonder if Jimmy Kimmel is ever embarrassed about “The Man Show.” Not that curious to Google.)
“How My Dad Reconciled His God and His Gay Son”
In this intriguing piece by Timothy White, we’re offered a look at his father’s journal entries as he grappled with Timothy’s coming out and losing his church. This read meant a lot to me.
The books
I just finished Body Work by Melissa Febos. It has soothed me as I attempt to figure out what the heck I’m doing with my story/life/writing. I recommend the read if you wish to write or are in the midst of writing a memoir. She has some good quotes, but I was listening to the audiobook. (And I’ve already been stopped by the same cop in two weeks on my commute home, so I’m trying to eliminate as many distractions.) I plan on buying this and her Girlhood which I had as a e-book library loan, but I ran out of time. (She has the forthcoming The Dry Season coming this summer. Really looking forward to it.)
The music
As I previously mentioned, I need to pay attention on my commutes home, but music is music.
“Si tu disais” - Francoiz Breut
This was one of the many songs featured in the last season of Valeria on Netflix, the final episodes having just dropped earlier this month. (I’ve been wondering since the summer of 2023 if there was more!)
This song is short and dreamy, and I found myself racing to find my phone as I was wrapped up in a blanket in The Foxhole, the song serving as the soundtrack for Valeria deciding not to move to the Spanish countryside with her demanding writer boyfriend… when we all know she will end up with the very hot and finally-not-afraid-of-commitment Victor. “What is this song?! What is it?!” I said, as if I couldn’t rewind it.
“Abracadabra” - Lady Gaga
Well duh.
The floor’s on fire!
The art
Black Omi Art Co “paint(s) boobies for a living,” according to her Instagram. Her work is gorgeous. I would love to attend one of her paint sessions. It looks like she may be at SEAF this year. So excited to check out the festival store and gallery!
The random
January was the longest month, but February was the sickest. For one of the healthiest people around, I hate to admit I’ve been sick since Super Bowl. Currently, I’m slightly congested but much better. The temperature has also varied from negative digits to today’s high of 61.
So that procedure at the end of January? No polyps. My insides are perfect.
I last-minute stage-kittened for my burlesque teacher’s show even though I’m taking a bit of break with practice. I told my oldest that my prepping the stage and collecting money for the nearly naked performers paid for his new keeper gloves. Appreciate.2
For those paying attention, I didn’t get the fellowship. I don’t know how I feel about it. Just an overwhelming feeling of being not enough and too much. I sometimes want to fold myself back up over and over until I’m hidden again. I’m told I’m beautiful, authentic, funny, smart, ambitious, and thoughtful, but I only want my own self-dictated adjectives to matter. Right now, they include: fractionated, brutal, slightly adhesive, quietly advantageous, (mentally) heaving, doe-eyed-penetrative, stoic.
I just right now (yes, here at work) saw a young woman in our HR hallway take a selfie. I imagine her caption: “Here I am at HR. Just talked about FML I need to take.” (I have no idea her reason. Obviously, none of my business.) I remember I did a sexual harassment training at one of our properties, and another young woman took a pic of my opening slide. I looked at her and thought, “Why the hell?” The kids are posting their most mundane while I feel self-conscious for taking a sexy selfie in public… ??? Fuck that.
With that, I’m going to an erotic art photography exhibit opening this weekend. I’m definitely dressing up and taking a (quick) pic.
And, always important, my latest gay man crush.
A note for my paid subscribers: I really hate Open for Business, my grad school smut fiction thriller. I want it in the forever garbage, but I will post it in its entirety on Dropbox and insert the link at the end of the chapter one post behind a paywall this weekend. (March 2025 update: I decided to just keep going with the installments since I didn’t want to deal with accessibility issues for my readers on other file sharing platforms.) I plan on providing more in regard to interviews I’m hoping to do about bold, sensual women and offering a behind-the-scenes look for my paid subscribers. You still get my lookbooks and slippage into my DMs if you so wish to ask me a question. You’re actually getting more.3
I love you all, readers, but I especially appreciate those who engage and comment. You have no idea how important that is to me. (Tell me what resonated with you this month. Did you enjoy one of my Fracture items? Maybe you hated all of them. Tell me.) Going into my birthday month and being a St. Pat’s baby, I wish for unexplained joy and spark to find you.
To quote Chaka: “Tell me something good.”
I want a quantitive number. I want a workbook. I want a step-by-step guide. I’d like to think I’m intimately in sync with my internal faculties, but when others are factored in, I feel off-kilter. Like their interaction skews the results. I’m thinking too much.
Fun fact: The site of the burlesque show was a less-than-two-minute drive from the scene of “Flowers for the Frat.” Love how easily accessible my small wine town is.
I had a paid subscriber unsubscribe, like a founding member. I understand if someone unsubscribes after a lookbook post, but dang, it was after I posted “Flowers for the Frat.” Hey, that was weighty, sir. Good night and good luck.
I really do like the notes you leave at the bottom of most of your posts. It gives more insight to the insight you already provide. That unsubscriber is definitely going to miss out. You need a new founding member?
I'm so grateful for your writing here. I can't often get to reading everything posted to the substacks I subscribe to. But it's important to me that I take time to read yours. Your words mean a ton to me. I'm so sorry that you didn't get the fellowship (their loss). Cheering you on for whatever the next opportunity will be, as well as sending you happy early birthday wishes <3